Scum of the Earth... Prepare to be enlightened on your flaws.

2006-01-18T23:58:00.000+08:00

Specimen L

Duration of observation : six earth hours

I am writing this shortly after a very detailed observation of one of my many (live) specimens of the human race. As you may(or may not) have noticed, the specimen in question is L. Specimen L has earned herself special mention in my log due to the subject exhibiting two unusual, astonishing traits that are absent from the majority of the human populace.

Method of containment

Facilities provided in containment unit:
Waste disposal unit
Matter replicator(disguised as a human food storage device, or what they call a refrigerator)
Observation unit(speakers included to allow specimen to hear orders/verbal stimuli)

Before I begin listing the traits, Let it be known that the observation was done in the relative safety of my lab. Specimen L was never in close proximity with me. Rather, I have observed her (and conversed, to a certain extent) through a certain sort of extremely primitive (for lack of better word) holography projection. Such an arrangement not only ensures my safety from any contaminants that the subject most definitely carries(as do all humans), but also allows me to get a rather good view of the subject, thus allowing me to better gauge the subject's response to certain stimulants. The subject once again proves that the human populace is, in general, greedy and moronic. I was able to lure L into a containment chamber simply by placing several small containers of scented, mild sedatives in the chamber, then locating the specimen. After a short conversation, the specimen was led to believe that there were "free samples" of a certain brand of scented liquid that humans call "perfume". Before I could finish my conversation, L had already managed to procure a form of transport to deliver us to the containment chamber. Upon arrival, the specimen immediately entered the chamber in search of the "free samples". Once L opened the containers and proceeded to inhale the sedative, it was but a simple matter to keep her contained in the chamber. So pacified was L that I did not even have to seal up the chamber before proceeding back to my lab, to commence with the observations.

Method of Observation

The specimen is, for the most part, left to her own devices. Occasionally, she will be asked several questions, or simply receive comments about herself. However, such interactions between myself and the specimen is kept to a minimum, as the true purpose of this observation is to simply observe a member of the humans when isolated and left to their own devices.

Appetite

Specimen L has demonstrated an astonishingly large, nay, enormous appetite for one of her kind (and size). During the course of the observation itself, L managed to devour an amount of food approximately three times her own body mass. So fascinated was I by her appetite, that I failed to make a proper record of the food she consumed. As to such, I am forced to rely on my memory in order to make a list of food eaten by L during the course of the observation. Keep in mind that the items listed below are but a mere fraction of the total amount of food devoured by Specimen L.

Four pieces of toasted carbohydrate boards

One small container of long, curly carbohydrate strips(I believe humans call it noodles)

Assorted pieces of dark brown, solid glucose and fat boards

Two standard human meals comprising of a large stack of carbohydrate beads, chunks of protein sponges and thin strips that are mostly made up of fiber

Twelve to fifteen pieces of dry, powdery carbohydrate solids(humans call them biscuits)

Up to six cups of warm, glucose liquid

Stability

Specimen L seems to have a distinctive disability to remain still for even the shortest amount of time. Throughout the course of the observation, L continually displays signs of unrest, though I was unable to detect any signs of distress or discomfort in her. L would frequently begin humming to herself for no apparent reason. This often occurs after the specimen has consumed some food, or has been exposed to a verbal stimuli that she appears to enjoy. I believe the purposeless humming that L generates is, perhaps, a certain form of expression. In this case, she wishes to express the fact that she is satisfied, or is feeling pleasant. Similarly, L would frequently move herself away from the observation unit, and proceed to wander around the containment chamber. Note that the specimen only wonders around the chamber, it makes no attempt whatsoever to escape or break out of the containment chamber. When L is doing neither of the above mentioned, she will simply sit infront of the observation unit, and proceed to sway about, at the same time fidgeting with anything and everything, in no particular order.

Conclusion

I believe the two distinctive traits of L are interlinked to one another in a form of cycle. While I am not sure which particular trait surfaced first, I am sure that either one of them must have been present before the other. For example, Specimen L could have been born with the latter condition, which is the lack of the ability to remain still. This would have no doubt increased the metabolism rate of L, as more energy is needed to perform the constant acts of unrest. Due to the immense amount energy needed, the specimen's mind naturally instructs the body to take in a larger amount of food in order to sustain the constant fidgeting. Or perhaps it is the fact that L consumes so much food, there is too much energy stored up inside the specimen at any time. Hence, the subject is constantly, subconsciously forced to fidget and hum in order to burn off all the excess energy that the body possesses. Either way, it is a vicious cycle which I doubt L would be able to break out of, at least not with a considerable amount of external aid.

That concludes the log entry for the day.

Note to self: Extract Specimen L from the containment chamber as soon as possible, to prevent her from being too attached to the chamber. It is, after all, much more hospitable than what passes as dwellings for these humans.

2005-11-21T00:33:00.000+08:00

The social hierarchy of the human race: yet another ridiculous enigma

It has been quite some time since I last attempted to enlighten your species. The process has been... Frustrating, to say the least. All my attempts to educate your race have been met with skepticism and disbelief. More often than not, the attempts end with me walking away, in order to contain my overwhelming urge to rip out that piece of flesh sandwiched in-between your ugly, primitive jaws. After a small period of isolation for me to calm my mind, I am once again prepared to continue with my task of enlightening your species.

As you may (or may not) have seen from the heading, the topic of the day will be on the social hierarchy of your race. As you no doubt know by now, your race consists of two genders, the male and the female. Upon careful analysis, I have concluded that the female is superior, in almost every aspect, to the male. Yet, the human race, with its perplexing sense of reasoning, places the male species at the top of the social hierarchy ladder. Before I continue, let us first examine both genders.

The Human Body

The typical specimen has four limbs, two of which are more adept at manipulating objects, and two of which are more adept at functioning as a means of transportation for the main bulk of the body. The body consists of a main component, in which the species' internal organs, such as the lungs and heart, are stored. The limbs which manipulate objects are attached to the upper edges of the body, while the ones that serve as a form of transportation are attached to the lower edges of the body. Note, however, that the entire bulk of the body is supported and balanced only by two limbs. This causes the species to be typically unable to maintain a good balance. This fundamental flaw has further reinforced what many of us belief : The human race did not evolve naturally as other creatures on Earth did. They are a form of mutation, an evolution anomaly. However, that is not the focus of this session, and as to such, I will leave that matter to another time. Attached to the body, in-between the two limbs which are attached to the upper edges of the body, is the head.(For information on the head, refer to the post made on Friday, August 6, 2004.)

The Female

The female of this species typically has a slender body frame, as opposed to the typical male's fleshier, bulkier build. This slimmer, more compact build allows the female to perform physical feats with more grace and precision than the male counterpart. The female is also typically swifter and more agile than the male. The most obvious flaw of the female body is the lack of muscle mass, which has a rather large impact on the gender's strength, and also makes the female considerably more fragile. Another glaring fault of the female body is the two mamillas that are positioned on the upper half of the female's body. The mamillas vary in size for different specimens, but studies have shown that, the bigger the mamillas, the more effect it has on impairing the movements of the specimen. However, this fault can be rectified, to a certain extent, by wearing pieces of restrictive clothing that reduce the movement impairing effects of the mamillas.Extensive studies and personal encounters have also led me to believe that the female is generally smarter and sharper than the male. It is troublesome for me to post all of my experiences which led to my eventual conclusion. However, I believe it is sufficient to say that the bad habits practiced by the males, such as participating in high impact, brain damaging sports, and a general tendency to behave more crudely, are part of the reason for the male's reduced mental capabilities.

The male

The male of this species has physical characteristics that are similar to the female specimens, apart from the absence of the mamillas, and the presence of an exposed set of organs responsible for reproduction. These are located on the body, in-between the two limbs that function as transportation. It is my belief that this set of organs have a greater impact on the physical capabilities of the male, even more so than the mamillas of the females. Through several experiments and certain recorded footage, I have concluded that a small amount of force, when applied to the exposed reproduction organs of a male, while effectively incapacitate the specimen for an amount of time.( the actual length of incapacitation depends on the force applied. A larger force equals a longer incapacitation time.) The negative effect of the male reproduction organs can be lessened considerably by wearing a form of protective armor around the reproductive organs, which will lessen any forced applied to the aforementioned organs by a rather large amount. As previously mentioned, the male is typically bulkier and more muscularly built. This allows them to endure a larger amount of physical damage, and it also grants them greater physical strength.The mental capabilities of the typical male are more restricted, as compared to the female. Males exhibit more primitive traits and habits, most of which are rather crude and crass. The possible reason for such behavior has already been listed above, under "the female" section. While some may argue that the more prominent thinkers of the human race are, for the majority, males, I believe that there is a perfectly logical explanation for it, and that is lack of opportunity.

Suppression

For the greater part of the human history, the females have been suppressed, their views ignored by the male population, their attempts to think crushed. The females have been told that they do not have a say in most matters, that intelligence is the downfall of a female. It is only recently that the females have begun to break out of their mold, to rebel against the male suppression.

Correcting the Social Hierarchy

It is puzzling that the inferior gender, the males, are at the top of the social hierarchy. For every species that is known to us, the superior gender is at the top of the social hierarchy. However, such is not the case with you humans. While it is obvious that the females are beginning a painfully slow push towards the top of the social hierarchy, the males are still the dominant gender.

With sufficient time, the social hierarchy will be corrected and rightly dominated by females. However, time is running out for the human species, and I do not think that the "hierarchy revolution" will occur soon enough to make a difference to...Well, anything, for that matter. The contamination is spreading every second. Your race is doomed. Make good use of whatever time you have left, and hope that small number of humans that are immune to the contamination are fertile enough to ensure the survival of your species.

2005-04-13T19:51:00.000+08:00

The coming of the Emperor

The First Time

In the First Time, the first of our kind, the Me'rin Sha, where born. Nothing more than basic tool users, the Mer'in Sha had to depend on their heightened senses and vastly superior intelligence to survive on Gahrak, the First Homeworld. Gahrak was a lush planet filled with all sorts of flora and fauna, very much like Earth is. On this mineral rich planet, the Mer'in Sha thrived, and in a matter of a few thousand years, the first major cities appeared on the face of Gahrak. Within another thousand years, space travel was made possible. Eager to satiate their unquenchable thirst for knowledge, our kind took off to the stars, all the while inventing better, more efficient ways of carrying our kind across the galaxy. Then came the Second Time. The fall of Gahrak.

The Second Time

At the beginning of the Second Time, the first Horak'Va class ships were built. These massive ships were designed to be self sufficient, and had enough space to comfortably house thousands of Gahraks, while they went about their daily business. A handful of Horak'Va ships were launched, each fully equipped and fully staffed with thousands of our kind. More of the same ships were being outfitted at the space stations that orbited Gahrak. Sadly, none of the remaining Horak'Va ships managed to leave the space stations.

Roughly around the same period of time as the luanch of the Horak'Va ships, a virus struck our kind. Although the Gahraks were brilliant in all fields of science, they were unable to find a cure for the rapidly mutating virus. Investigations revealed that the virus had originated from one of the ships that had returned froma mining trip on an unidentified planet. The consequeces of the infection was disasterious. Those that were infected slowly lost their sanity, and the virus, coupled with the Mer'in Shas' heightened senses and emotions, drove them wild with fury and madness. The infected began wiping out the population of Gahrak. In a matter of months, the situation had evolved into a civil war between the infected mutants and the remaining untouched Mer'in Sha. In the Mer'in Sha's darkest hour, a becon of light shone upon our kind in the form of the immortal Emperor, the Master of Mer'in Sha.

Even among the Mer'in Sha, the Emperor is an ancient being, for he had been living amongst our kind for many millennia. He is the greatest Psychic of all, for his immortality has allowed him to fully develop his abilities, and to make full use of his almost bottomless repository of Psychic energy. Long has he been living in secrecy, waiting for the day when the Mer'in Sha needed a guide, a seer to steer them away from total annihilation. With the situation of the infection running out of control amongst the Mer'in Sha, the Emperor finally revealed his true identity, and set about to rescue all he could, and to put an end to the suffering of the infected.
With his vast Psychic powers, the Emperor rallied all remaining uninfected Mer'in Sha around the only bastion of hope on Gahrak: the great Hark'dok Space Port. At that time, a great, mighty Flagship was being built, one with great destructive potential. The Master of Mer'in Sha knew that the completion of the flagship was needed for his plan to work, and so all the untainted fortified and barricaded themselves in Hark'dok, hoping to set up a last line of defense against the maddened infected.

Weeks passed, and with his will, the Emperor gave the untainted Mer'in Sha the determination to stand fast in the face of the hideous mutants. However, the defenders' numbers dwindled each day, and just as it seemed that the space port would be over taken, the Flagship was finally completed. With the Emperor on board, the Flagship took off into space, just as the infected swarmed over Hark'dok. As soon as the Flagship was in space, the Emperor gave orders to maneuver the ship's immense cannon into position. When the cannon was repositioned, the order was given and the cannon unleashed its beam of destruction upon Gahrak. The result was horrifying, as the entire tainted planet ruptured in a blinding flash of crimson. However, the magnitude of the explosion was so great that the surrounding space stations were utterly destroyed, together with the remaining unfinished Horak'Va ships. Even the Flagship was badly crippled by the blast. But despite these great losses, the Emperor has managed to stop the infection from spreading. The first Exterminatus had been carried out.

With the carnage behind them, the Emperor set about to contact all remaining Horak'Va ships. Although the communication systems abroad the Flagship was damaged beyond repair, the Emperor managed to contact the Horak'Va ships by using his sheer Psychic abilities to channel his will across the vast expanse of space. The ships were instructed to proceed towards an untainted planet that was closest to the Flagship. Once the orders were given out, the Flagship itself limped towards the planet, held together solely by the Emperor's Psychic might. Painfully slow days passed before the Flagship arrived at its destination, to find the Horak'Va ships already orbiting the untainted planet: Mars, our Second Homeworld.

The Third Time

After preliminary analysis of the planet had shown the presence of huge underground caverns, the Mer'in Sha got to work straight away, costructing a new life beneath the red planet. Withtin a hundred years, a new metropolis was created in the towering, vast caverns. With an established society, we once again took to space, this time with the Psychic guiding hand of the Emperor. Not only do we seek knowledge, we also seek to aid any lesser sentient species that we came across.

Earth and its Humans

Two Millenia ago, our kind found Earth, a planet not unlike Gahrak. Here there was a sentient race already developing, one that called themselves Humans. So as to not interfere with the race's evolution, we have refused to interfere with their lives, observing their progress in secrecy. However, we have detected a strain of the foul virus here, on Earth. It has affected most of the Human populace, but it does not have the adverse effects on this race as it did on ours( due to the fact that Humans lack the heightened senses of our kind). There is a growing concern aomgst the High council, and indeed even the Emperor himself, on this contamination of Earth. The Master of Mer'in Sha has descended amongst the Humans in hopes of finding a cure for the Humans. However, if he is unable to find a solution to this problem, then an Exterminatus will have to be carried out on Earth. We will not risk contamination again.

2005-03-14T19:14:00.000+08:00

It has been several weeks, since I last enlightened you savages on your hopelessness, and during the few weeks of absence, I have continued to walk amongst your pathetic kind, watching you, studying you...Judging you. And I must say that what I have seen truly troubled me, for it now seemed that the Exterminatus, the Great Cleansing of planet SS-0003, YOUR planet, could not come soon enough. Your civilisation is plagued by decay, corruption, deceit and guilt. Everywhere I look, I see how deeply this plague has been entrenched into your minds.
I have heard and read of incidents where you humans have stolen from one another, committed petty crimes over small, insignificant matters. As a matter of fact, one such crime happened just a few days ago, at a human learning establishment. I will not elaborate on the incident, though suffice to say, I am DISGUSTED at this unacceptable behavior... And this is but one of many other crimes that you humans have committed over the years.
Do you not feel ashamed of your crimes? Do you not seek redemption? Well, I am here to tell you: There is NO redemption for your kind! You have doomed yourself to this fate, and you have only yourselves to blame! Be grateful that we are wasting our energy and efforts to purge your filthy bodies off this otherwise magnificent planet. There are some amongst your kind who have been enlightened...These are the ones who are trying to redeem whatever is left of your pathetic lives...Perhaps if the majority of you listen more attentively to what they are saying, we might change our minds and exact a lighter punishment on your species. But until you have redeemed youselves, we will carry on with the preparation of the Exterminatus. That is all for today.

2005-01-26T16:55:00.000+08:00

I will now allow you, the primitive human, to take a brief glance into one of my daily interrogation sessions with your fellow humans. In order to satiate your irritating curiosity, I will explain the purpose of my interrogation sessions.

In order to gather certain information that only a more...Practical approach with the specimen can provide. During these sessions, we(that refers to me and my fellow Martians, and yes, I am NOT alone) conduct experiments to test the limits of human capabilities. It is...Hard for me to explain it. Let me upload one of my recorded sessions for all of you to read(note that it is in a form of what you humans call a script, so as to allow you to better grasp the conversation). To make things even simpler for your limited intelligence to handle, keep in mind that what

I (or my fellow Martians) say will be in this font(the current one that your reading) while the specimen's will be in Italic. Let us begin, then.

Have you had enough rest?

ugggghh...

I'll take that as a primitive form of "yes". Now... For today,we are going to test the tolerance of the human body...Against pain.

Wahh? Who...What are you? Where am I?

Those questions will be answered later...If you cooperate with us on this experiment.

Wait...This is a joke, right? Alright Dick, cut it out...It ain't funny no more...You're freaking me out!

Now, where should I begin...Hmmm.... Ah yes, let's start with the largest portion of the body...What do they call it? Ah yes, the torso. Sliii'thrak, hand me the kreedal.

Hey! I'm warning you Dick! Stop it! You come any closer with that blade, and I'll...I'll...

Tell me, what would you do? You're bound to the table...Your feeble body will not even be able to weaken the restraints, let along break free...Now lie still, it's horribly hard to cut properly when you fidget.

Hey cut the crap and let me out! I'm giving you the last chance! Let me ouAAARRRRGGHHHH GOD NO!!!! WWWWWWWWWWWARRRRGHHHHH!!!! STOP!!! PLEASE!!! I BEG OF U...HHHHAARRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!

Hmm...Interesting. Let it rest for awhile. See how it reacts to the pain.

*sob* Please...*sob* No more...Whoever *sob* you are...Let me go...Just please, let me *sob* go...I'll *sob* do whatever you want...

Fascinating! Observe how the specimen changes its attitude so quickly! Intriguing...Let's move on to a more sensitive part...Hmm...Ah yes, the eyes! Than'krik, the brikrijag, if you will.

NO! PLEASE! NOT THE EYES! ANYTHING BUT THE EYES! PPLLEASEE!!!!

There now, you won't feel anything at all...

ARRGRGHHH!!! ARRGHH!!!! FUCK AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHRRR!!! AAAAHHHHHHRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!! GGAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!.........

Hmm...Seems the subjects has passed out from the pain. So...That is the limit to the body's tolerance...I must get more specimens...Maybe others will last longer. Kragnahal (that's the ship's mainframe control unit) clean up on table 2.

And with that, another session is over. It is simply amazing...Ah well, that will be all for now. Check back soon.

2004-12-07T22:08:00.000+08:00

Greetings, earthling. I have decided to cease my dissection of the pathetic human body for the time being. Instead, I will bestow upon your degenerate race this wise and enlightening poem, written to allow your race to have a greater glimpse of your equally pathetic ancestors. All you have to keep in mind is that the poem depicts a Celtic king and his loyal subjects and friends having a meal. And so, without further delay, I give you the poem.

The king was in his feasting house
Waiting to be crowned.
They killed a white horse, cut it up,
And stirred it round and round
inside a cauldron great and deep
All filled with water, hot.
They ate the horse meat, not the bones,
Until they'd scoffed the lot.

The king stood up, and then he cried,
'My friends! It's time we paddled!'
The king's friends all took off their clothes
And jumped into the pot!
They splashed about in bones and soup,
And see how clean they got!

And when they all had washed and scrubbed,
They jump back out again.
They drank the horse soup, every drop
Until the pot was drained.

I hope that has helped you people to further understand your ancestors and their way of life. That will be all for today.

2004-08-06T18:42:00.000+08:00

Scanning for Human flaws classified under physical......
132 classifications found under subject "flaws (physical)"......
Filtering out major flaws......
13 flaws(Major) found......
List?......(Y/N)
Listing in progress.Please wait......
......
......
Listing complete.

Again, you just saw another transmission from the mothership. As i have promised quite some time ago, I will attempt to list down every major flaw that you humans have.(there's simply too many flaws for me to list down everything) For the sake of your pathetically useless peices of fat(what you humans call your brain) i will attempt to number these major flaws individually, just so that your pea sized eyes(a pea is some sort of green round food that u humans consume. Needless to say, it is incredibly small. Just incase there's some ridiculously moronic humans who don't even know what a pea is)are able to cram all this information into your aforementioned "brain" without too much trouble. Let us begin with the listing.

1. The head
Let us begin with the most important part of the human body. The head itself contains quite a few flaws. Firstly, I'd like to point out the eyes. Humans have their eyes located at the front of their head, and it is only protected by a thin piece of retractable skin known as eyelids. The eyelids can do nothing more than to protect the fragile eyes from liquids and possibly some small debris. Obviously, it is an extremely illogical design, and we Martians do not understand why almost the whole of Earth's creatures have such a ridiculous thing to protect one of their most important parts of their body. Of course, I understand how some of you humans are going to argue about how we are supposed to see if our eyes are not exposed in some way or another. Since your species is about to be annihilated anyway, I don't mind telling you about how we protect such a valuable part of our body. We keep our eyes in our mouth. In order to see, we can open our mouths and viola! We have a perfect view of everything within a 270 degree radius. Anyways, we can mentally sense most things (bodies that give off heat, for instance) so we only use our eyes at the most crucial moments. Hopefully, this little bit of advice will help you to see how pathetic and flawed your evolution has been.

I believe that your simple brain will only be able to comprehand so much information today. As to such, I will leave you humans to think about what I've just said about your eyes. Look out for the next physical flaw sometime soon.Open your pathetic eyes.

2004-07-17T14:31:00.000+08:00

Preliminary species scan, complete. flaws, 458.29 currently detected.updating list.......

what u jus heard was a transmission from the mothership, hovering above ur pathetic planet, undetected by ur simplistic technology and weak human senses. as u can obviously tell, that was an analysis of the human race(no other species on ur planet has that large amount of flaws in their body design and structure). perhaps u think that we Martians are so proud of ourselves that we think of others as inferior, worthless, weak. but know this: we did not get allies like the Plutonians, Recarsians and Caldutians by being proud and boastful. We have proven to be staunch allies of the previously mentioned races, and our inter-species relations are always extremely close. by now(hopefully) your puny human mind should have been able to comprehend the fact that you are infact, the only odd one out. by that, i mean that u are the only one in this galaxy that we truely dispise and hate to the core. everything about you reeks of self-confidence, misplaced pride and a great display of arrogance. you are truely a most pathetic race, yet u think urself to be great, magnificent, technologically advanced, and one of the most superior species on this galaxy.

perhaps u people are simply too indulged in ur self admiration that u simply have not, and cannot, see the flaws in ur species, both physically and otherwise. thankfully, we, the martians, are here to redeem ur pitiful and doomed race. after much discussion, the Martian High Command(MHG) has decided that, no matter how pitiful and/or pathetic one sentient species is, it has the right to know its flaws and mistakes before it is exterminated. and henceforth, i have been tasked with the job of bringing the imminent flaws of ur kind to u in the form of cold, calculating hard facts. humans,(hereby officially refered to as Scum of the Earth), prepare for the awakening of ur lives........(to be continued on the next post. keep ur pathetically small eyes open for it.)

2004-07-12T19:58:00.000+08:00

Another meaningless, human like post for another day. lets see.....school was....rather nice i guess. some of the lessons were really boring, mind u, but i guess its jus another day scrapped thru.had some remedial tdae.....consumed some "curry puffs"(sardine flavor. rather appaling, but its the best the humans' got.) um... gave the humans a treat(drinks only) cos i didnt manage to make out how much they cost(the drinks, that is). human money is so hard to manage... there was this bloody heavy rain.... well, it actually started of as a drizzle, but um... conditions worsened. i saw the humans, one Faridah and one Junaidah, walking home in the (previously) drizzle. dunno how they fared in the rain. i think Faridah woulda enjoyed it, cos she wanted to get sick. that Junaidah, however.... i dunno. i'll go check wif her tml. anyways, rain was hhheeeaaavvvyyyy. i did get aliitle wet, but thankfully, this "umbrella" managed to shelter my body from too much exposure to the rainwater. it's got to be one of the human's finer inventions, i'd say. Another human, one Elim, had a small chat wif me online. guess she was kinda lonely. poor gal... guess it aint that fun in her class. ahh well, u win some, u lose some. ho hum... lets see....what else did i miss out?.......... oh yea, me and Miss P.X.Y are having a mini war on her blog. well, kinda. jus arguements back and forth. good thing is, Joseph is helping me(not that i need it, of course.) so i can garuntee that victory shall be mine. muhahahahahahahaha....ha. enuf crap. Frat out ppl!

2004-07-04T20:00:00.000+08:00

Good evening fellow humans. another boring yet exciting dae is about to pass. having said that, um....i dunno what to say. um ...i'm writing this at my auntie's house. or is that uncle?? anyways, it sucks down here. boring boring. so damned chicken nene. been wasting my whole afternoon here. mainly still surviving by planting my fat little arse infront of the comp(yes, they do have a comp. surprise, surprise. i think i'm about to go home soon. thatnk god. hope i can catch STAR TREK ENTERPRISE later. gonna be sooo fun to watch. ho hum.....i might not post tml, cos i think i'm gonna go ut tml. some fun and bowling, and prolly more acts of embarassment on me...sigh. always happens. i get the feeling that i dun get the respect i deserve sumtimes. anyways, i'm not here to tell u how i feel. i'm here to frat. so come on ppl. u noe u wanna frat. yay. frat all the way.... ah u jackasses! jus get the hell away! shoo!!! frat out ppl!

2004-07-03T21:39:00.000+08:00

Another post....surprise surprise, life's boring...yay. i think i'm drowning in my own sarcasm sumtimes. anyways, apst few daes been kinda boring. um..... watched spidey 2 wif me MUM. some good ol quality time together wif mum. yup. But dun u get any funny ideas that da fratmasta's a momma's boy or sumthin like that. COS DA FRATMASTA AIN'T! AND IF U EVER SPUTTER A SINGLE WORD BOUT THAT, DA FRATMASTA WILL MAKE SURE THAT U U STICK UR OWN EYEBALL INTO UR ARSEHOLE! ok. i'm done wif the warning. so....spidey was ok, but i dun like the "chunky" sequence of the movie( as in one moment its fast paced action everiwhere, the next, its jus lots of blah blah talking) but i'm still not complaining. jus voicing my opinions. um..... thats bout it. da miss PXY made me take some sorta "what type of Bible are u" quiz. seems i'm "Romans". says here that i'm alittle prideful and sumthin like that. i cant help it! Da fratmasta is too famous! no choice meh! i dun hear anyone complaining! or mebbe its jus cos i cant hear anythin over my own voice....lol. yea, thats the case alwrite! enuf crap. frat out people!

2004-06-30T17:33:00.000+08:00

ok, i'm back. afta bout a month of absence. sigh... its been a long, boring holidae. which is why i didnt write anything on my blog. would "i woke up, ate, and slept" have been intersting? i highly doubt. so i suggest u all quit ur whining and jus follow in my wise footsteps. so anyways, a load of crap happened tdae. first, there was this CCA thing, which i had to change to GYM management. the first one i chose was for cross country. i'm not exactly the best runner, so dun mind me. anyways, sch's ok. getting rather used to it now that its been....three daes since sch opening. but i'm not hapi wif the propect of returning to sch tho. seems that its gonna be a busy term...noootttt hapi wif the prospect.well...spiderman 2's out in a days time, so i guess i'll try to catch it sumtime soon. ho hum... i'll see how things go first. frat out ppl.

2004-05-27T19:22:00.000+08:00

Another dae. another crappy dae. had this stupid parent teacher meetin crap tdae. me ma had to go see the form teacher!(hey me too! high five dude! -Joseph) dang nabbit!comments made bout how i needed to improve me amath.(wow! same again! -Joseph) sigh... but i dunno why i'm quite energetic tdae. prolly cos of da NOFX songs that were played in the mornin, compliment of one miss Jyssica Lian.loooove those songs...sooo much beta than those crappy sch music that's played ova da intercom every mornin. i think there's gonna be even more music comin tml! ooooo! excitin indeed!hope its The Rasmus...or Linkin Park. or both. i dunno. as long as it can wake me up. frikin tired in the mornins..... well, thats all da shit i have todae. its jus so borin here that i hav simply nuthin to write at all! i wish sumthin excitin wuld happen here. boy...i miss Mars. all da excitement.... all da fightin... sigh...i miss da smell of burned flesh.... ah well, frat out ppl.

2004-05-26T19:48:00.000+08:00

Ho Ho Ho....welcome to the new and improved blog ppl! Looks cool huh? its stil wif da Linkin Park design, but it's alot more calm and cool compared to the previous one(damned purple pic!)this one has all da info on the real me. yup. the martian side. well anywaes, i'm hopin that u peeps will like it(if u dun, then live wif it, u god damned whiney crybaby...) ok. now for tdae's updates. um... nuthin much once again. ooo yea, tml the teachers are gonna have a meet-the-parents session. wif my parents(duh). well wif me ma actualli. um....dun think i'll be havin much trouble tho.well hopefully not. um.... apart from the boatload fulla homework, i dun think there's anythin thats worth mentionin. yup.(thats how pathetic and dull his life is -Joseph) hey who said that? u ppl did not hear that! oh dear, me secret's out! Damn u Joseph! um...(sweats and shivers in fear) uh....get outta here ppl! um...Frat out! go! shoo!

2004-05-25T19:04:00.000+08:00

Yello ppl! beeen a long time since i've written on this blog. but then again, u can't blame me. me life's been as eventful as um....lyin on a piece of flat grassland on a fine breezy summer dae. yup. nuthin of particular interest AT ALL.well, cept for da fact that i managed to minimise the amount of subjects that i fail to a mere 1! isn't that great??? yay... ooo yea are there any "friends" sitcom lovers here? jeezzz.... i lllluuuuvvvv that show! frikin funny.....pity that it's da last season tho. wulda been so much beta if it had gone on longer...ssigh... i guess all things must come to an end sumtime... think i'll be eagerly enticipatin the "joey" sitcom next! yay joey!lol... nuthin much else i guess....now u see why i dun wanna post anythin?? its jus so frikin idoitic! ahh well.... if u wanna frat wif me now here's ur chance.... anyone???....well its ur loss. frat out ppl.

2004-05-19T20:03:00.000+08:00

Gd dae ppl.....hows ur dae? fine? gd for u, cos mine SUCKED!SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED! my exam results are comin along rather badly...... failed me amath, possibly chemistry.me phy jus pass, but i get the feelin that overall i'm still gonna fail...sigh...oh and did i mention that i got bitten my a savage beast called chee yuan? that s.o.b.....good thing his blunt teeth didn't manage to cut thru my thick skin.feelin kinda sore tdae tho...the wounds i mean....prolly sum minor infection.hope it gets over in a while.hmmm apart from that.....nuthin much tdae. ooo yea da freakifredah gal CHEATED MY MONEY! RRRAAARRRRR! i want my MONEY! RRRAAARRR!!!! mebbe i'll get it from her tml....hoepfully.doubt she'll give it back tho....that gal's one sneaky human. MONEY BACK!!!!!! RRRARRRRR!!!! ok enuf crap. Frat out ppl!

2004-05-17T17:11:00.000+08:00

Another dae, laides...another dae. i jus can't make up my mind bout what kinda dae tdae is. is it sucky? overly sucky? alittle sucky? good? alittle good? suckily good? hm....i think i'll settle wif suckily good. got back sum of my examination marks tdae(shit shit shit shit, dam da marks! -Joseph)quite ok i guess.got a A2 for my E math, and a B3 for my chinese. i'm rather proud of them. the marks that is. i seriously expected a lower mark. so anyways, managed to scrape thru physics as well. teacher told me that i managed a 50/100. cloooosseeee shave.... but i get da feelin that i've failed chemistry, and mebbe A math as well.sigh....forget bout them! i ain't gonna let them bring me down! nope, no sir, not at all. hmm....quite a borin dae tdae....one of my female frens(its jus a fren, so dun get jealous gals, da Fratmasta is still available! -Joseph)asked me for sum advice on her love relationship problem. 'course, i gave sum advice. dunno if its helpful or not tho. ahhh well, da advice is given, so its up to da gal to make up her mind if it's useful. hope she figures it out soon tho. apart from that, lets see......oooo ya! FRIENDS ON TDAE NIGHT ON TV! yea yea yea yea yea yea yea yea yea! been such a long time......sob.....so long.... but its da last season tho. makes me feel mightily bad bout that. ahh well... best to enjoy the last season then. um.....thats all i think. yup. o if ur readin this and u need sum advice on anythin, jus feel free to ask me.(esp da gal that jus sought my advice) I'll be there for u.(stop using FRIENDS' theme song, dammit! -Joseph) Frat out ppl!

2004-05-14T14:10:00.000+08:00

My loyal subjects! u have been leaderless for long enuf. Yes thats right. Ur great, mighty, wise, kind masta has finally returned. from what u sae? the masta has ruturned from a place equal, if not worse than hell.he has seen with his eyes the horror of the foul....thing... that is...EXAMS! i noe u all are worried sick but please hold ur tears.i have lifted myself from the mortal plane in an attempt to conquer the once thought invincible EXAM.and i have prevailed.u may go ahead and cry now.................done? good.well, now for da formal thing.sry it took so long to write. been busy wif my exams and shit like that. like i mentioned above, its finally, finally done.Let us all breathe a sigh of relief and joy....for the FRATMASTA IS BACK IN DA HOUSE!yea baby yea! wooo! shake it woo shake it woo shake it from da top!ooo yea! twist it! ho boy! its been a long time since i felt this relaxed.ahhhh! the air smells fresh, grass looks green and my brain is back to the normal capacity again.well its been great lettin out my joy tdae.o and for anyone who's from da same class as me, well done comrade. well done. now for the counter attack from the report card. shitty....but thats for next week.so i'll jus enjoy myself best i can in da meantime. frat out ppl!

2004-05-07T20:12:00.000+08:00

OLA! GD DAE! SMELL DA FRESH AIR BABY! WOOOOO! i'm a happy man~~ dfriftin in the sky~.... i had a great dae tdae! much beta than i expected! had da math paper 1 tdae! sumhow i hav da feelin that i can pass! me! pass! wooooo ss was ok...not too shabby...wrote on N. ireland! then um...wasn't anythin eventful....went to watch van hellsing...marvelous show, great action, little talkin.beautiful job on da movie guys!lol....da friki girl was damned pissed(frikifredah, if ur readin this, i jus want u to noe that u shuldn't get so stressed up with those jackassnapes of urs. they jus ain't worth it k?relax. u have to take care of ur own helth. oo and btw i can't post on ur tag board cos of sum frikin jackassnape connection thingy, so uh i'll put my thoughts here instead. READ THEM!) sry bout tat msg gals(and guys who are still here). needed to help that girl. she's gettin kinda psycotic lately. dun wan her to go mad. i'm such a great fren. ho boy! what a fren! what a fren!lol...oo yea i saw da new "breakin da habit" mtv from linkin park! it was wicked i tell ya! beautiful animations....sob...i'm so touched by it....sob.... i think i'll go sit and a corner and cry now....frat...sob...out....ppl!(sob) oo and btw for those ppl who believed in god(and can read german), Gott mit uns!...sob

2004-05-05T19:12:00.000+08:00

Hey sup ppl. hows ur dae? mine's da suckiest one so far. its crap i tell ya! the main bulk of da fuckin exams are comin, and my fuckin immature frens jus keep stealin ma stuff! the fuckers stole my skool dairy(sumthin that u mainly record homework in), my stapler, two of my pencils, one of my pens, my calculator and my HANDPHONE!how dare those fuckin sons of bitches steal my hp! they gave back my skoll diary, stapler, hp and calculator in da end, but i'm jus FUCKIN SICK OF THOSE IMMATURE BITCH-HOLES! btw, if ur a big mascular guy who happen to be readin tis blog and noe who i'm referin to, could u plz give da assholes sum bloody noses? i'll reward u handsomely. i promise.apart from those dickheads, me dae was ok i guess. i jus got contacted again by da girl that i luv. seems that sumthin came up between her and da guy that she sorta missed and tey back to da "say hi and bye" terms. i did feel sorta hapi after hearin that.(i noe i shuldn't be saein that, and i feel all guilty bout it and all, but hey, tis a blog yea?)prob is, i dunno if i like her or da other girl beta...shit shit shit! of all da times tis had to happen, it happens on da eve of apocalypse! fuckin hell....nvm, i'll consider all these afta da exams! and i'll see what i can do with those asshole "frens" of mine. btw, if any big mascular guy who noes whats goin on is still readin this, da broken nose and reward combo is still up for grabs....sry if u frattin fans had to hear me bitchin bout all these shit and all. jus that da stress is really buildin up and its havin a rather bad effect on me. sigh....i think thats all for da dae. frat out ppl!

2004-05-04T18:47:00.000+08:00

hey hey ppl. i jus wanna clear sumthin up. there've been ppl who claim that that purple linkin park pic is SIMPLY DAMNED GAY.at this point, i'd say go blame da creator of this blog skin. or go blame linkin park for takin this gay pic. DO NOT PUT DA BLAME ON ME.i only chose this skin cos i thought it had a great layout.nuthin to do wif color watsoeva. so back off u assholes!i dun to hav ppl leavin class wif bleedin gums or missin limbs!lol kiddin!i'll mebbe jus try to pinch u or sumthin. anyweas, yest i had these two eng SA(sorta like a bigshot exam) and one cme SA paper. not too bad, but i'm not garunteein any good results.its not ova tho. alot more papers comin up, so i might post less these few daes. gotta do alotta last min revision. sry folks.tdae went fine. got afew things of mine stolen again. sigh...but guess it ain't so bad. got to see da girl that i like(yes, da fratmasta does have feelins). guess that preety much cheered me up ova everythin. so yay for me. yup.comeon everyone
lets cheer. hip hip horray....ok that was lame. get lost u losers. shoo. frat out.

2004-05-02T12:55:00.000+08:00

alllrriigghhhhtttt..i haven't ben postin lately...been a very hectic life this few daes.....shitty. tml marks the begginin of da first of a line of death...exams! shitty.... its gonna be eng and cme tml. horribilis.but on the bright side, there ain't nuthin much to study, so at least i dun have to be so stressed. can sorta relax at home alittle. not much happened these few daes as well.... kinda borin infact.basically its the same eat sleep eat sleep thingy....its a pity i can't get the stress of my mind ans body, so i can't get any frat feelin now... sry peeps. i'm so....so sry! i've let all of u down! but rest assured.....da frat masta will be back! u jus wait and see!!!frat out!

2004-04-29T20:32:00.000+08:00

Well more moronic ramblin and complains from da fratmasta tdae. Sch was still ok, cept for the fact that my things kept going "MISSIN", only to surface afew minutes later in one of my "FREN'S" possesion!so shitty... the whole dae was like a bug hunt. had to go round huntin for my stuff. can u believe that the fratmasta gets this sorta treatment? ridiculous... but i had quite a good time tauntin the freakyfredah girl. such fun... and there was nuthin she could do bout it! har har har! oo i feel so elated jus laughin like that....sigh...dun think there's anythin else tdae...ooo yea i passed my 2.4km run/jog with the first try! thats like the first time in...like eva!yay! three cheers for me! yay yay yay! ok enuf bullshit. i'm frattin out.

2004-04-28T21:37:00.000+08:00

K ppl first up i have a confession.... i am joseph.(shock horror gasp!) thats right. the fratmasta is also joseph. go ahead and gasp for awhile. done? k now i have a bunch of complains. firstly, the exams are comin. that aslo means that we have to switch to our exam seating. might be good for sum ppl, but for me it kinda sucks. all the great frens of mine are sooo away now, like faridah(aka freakyfredah at www.frikifrida.com)jyss, dun ang, chee yuan, darren, etc etc... but hey, i'm the fratmasta, and nuthin stops the fratmasta! i use these human legs of mine to move around the class! i'm such a genius!sigh.... and btw like i said da exams are comin, so with it comes a buncha stress. so crappy. but once its over, it'll be time to Partay! so we'll be able to frat to the max! frat it up babies! till then, i think i'll jus have to bury my big head and do sum revisin and shit like that. u ppl go practice ur frattin technics k? i'll be testin u all at the frat party after da exams! till then, frat out ppl!

2004-04-27T17:33:00.000+08:00

Ahem...for the observant humans(i haven't met many so far) u might notice that i didn't post yesterdae. u wanna noe why? BECAUSE I CAN POST WHEN I WANT WHERE I WHAT! TAKE THAT U SLIMY HUMAN SCUM! Whew. Feel so mmuuuccchhh betta now. Ok peeps, the Fratmasta ain't got his daily of does of frat power tdae. wonder why....Mebbe cos i'm too tired .been having a biggy tonny of homeworky lately. think i'm gonna get sch fobia soon. so i think u litttle bbbeeeaaauuuuutttttiiiffffuuuulll ladies would seriously jus have to go frat urself! and btw, if u ppl still dun get the message till now, life sux!only the power of frattin can save ur hairy hide! so come sign up tdae for ur starter's frattin kit and a free "how to frat" DVD!(limited to the first 200 sign uppers only)

2004-04-25T14:06:00.000+08:00

Sunday. Prolly the best dae of the week. the dae where u pathetic humans can sit around the house doin nuthin at all, jus like the scum that u are.Ok, the fratmasta got that outta his system. Sry bout that folks! fratmasta had to let out sum steam. its been a hot hot hot dae for me. The weather here is boilin! like sittin in a oven! in fact, i think some of my skin is startin to smell rather nice! mebbe sum salt and spices and i can....no wait, forget bout that. its so hot that i'm too tired to frat! sry ladies. i'll frat tml. i promise. until then, u ladies can go do ur own stuff. frat out ppl!

2004-04-24T19:21:00.000+08:00

Alright tis the second post of the fratmasta for da dae. if u've been goin to da other blogger sites, u mighta seen tis comment bout tis Joseph guy who bullied a girl. well its totally bullcrap!this joseph is uh.....a good fren of my and i can garuntee u that he'd nvr do such a thing! nvr!i think da girl's more at fault. no! its all da girl's fault! So there! enuf blabberin! time to dish out sum FrattiN! frat it up yea! wooo! do the frat dance! sssscccrrreeeeaaaaammmM!!!! life rules when ur frattin ladies, esp when ur frattin with da fratmasta himself! oh yea! frat for life! fra FOREVA!wwwwwwooooooo!!!!!! frat out ppl!

2004-04-24T16:40:00.000+08:00

Another fine saturdae afternoon! ahhhh...... oh crap, i forgot to do all my hw! shit.....well i guess that jus spoiled ma mood, so i dun think there'll be any frattin for u ladies out there(are u still here u pesky guys?) go sumwhere else and frat urself. come back tml. mebbe i'll be in the mood to frat tml. run along. get away from this site. shoo. dun make me make u go away! u won't like me when i'm angry...lol kiddin. peace ladies! Frat out!

2004-04-23T16:21:00.000+08:00

Another fine afternoon ladies!(guys to click on the back button on top of this page plz) actually, it didn't really go that well. If u didn't noe, i'm actually stil sshoolin here, and um....lets just say that the tests aren't really goin that well right now. Horrible, in fact. but hey, lets not let that spoil our frattin mood eh ladies?? Lets frat it up! (frattin music plays) oh yea, frat yea! frat oooo! give it up! yeeeaaa!! damn that was good. well i think thats enuf frattin for tdae ladies(and those ever persistant guys who jus won't give up on comin to this frat party) well, dun wory bout it, there'll be more frattin comin at u soon! Frat out ladies!(and guys. damn u guys!)

2004-04-22T20:03:00.000+08:00

Gd dae ladies(if ur a guy, then u might wanna hop it punk!!) Tis the Fratmasta, comin in from the frathouse. I'm here to spread the might of frattin. on bloggin. So be prepared to frat ladies!(and guys if u still insist on being here) FRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT FRAT FRAT ME LADIES! oh yea! i bet u enjoyed that. thats all da fratmasta has for tdae folks!Come back sumtime later ladies. the fratmasta might have sumthin else for u then(guys are to stay out plz. thank u.)